We Don't Teach Techniques—We Support Your Wisdom
Here's the thing: We don't teach techniques, because there's no one right way to parent. Every family is different. Your beliefs, past experiences, circumstances, and your child's unique needs all shape how sleep (and everything else) unfolds. What works for one family might not work for another, and that's okay.
In modern parenting culture, sleeping through the night has become an unhelpful metric for "good" parenting. But here's what we know:
Sleep is a Biological State
We can't force ourselves, or anyone else, to fall asleep. Babies' sleep patterns vary widely, just like adults'. While we can help create conditions that support sleep, falling asleep itself isn't something that can be controlled. That's why pressure around sleep often just increases stress, for everyone. And no one parents better under pressure.
Sleep is Also Developmental
Just like walking and talking, a child's capacity to settle and stay asleep matures over time. There's no one-size-fits-all timeline, and no sleep approach that works for every baby. The real goal is finding ways for everyone's needs to be met as much as possible, for now.
Know Your Own Strengths and Struggles
We all have areas of ease and struggle when it comes to responding to our babies' needs. Our struggles show up as Shark Music, the internal alarm that tells us there is something dangerous about our child's needs. Perhaps we feel frustration, impatience, or worry when our child needs a lot from us. Others hear Shark Music when their baby starts to separate, and it feels hard to let them go.
When we can gently reflect on where we tend to struggle, we can make more conscious choice, offering both closeness and space, in response to what our child needs.
Give Yourself Space to Reflect:
- How does your baby signal that they're tired?
- What soothes and comforts this baby?
- Is it possible that your expectations around sleep are being influenced by Shark Music?
- How can you work with your baby's natural preferences, and support them to learn something new, when needed?
- If you're trying something new, what's your gut feeling about it? If something feels wrong, it will be hard to find success.
There's No Perfect Sleep Solution—But There Is You
When you pause to reflect on your baby's needs and your own and consider the role of your strengths and struggles, you're already on the path to security.
Your steady, responsive presence and ongoing reflection is what matters most.
And that's more than enough.
