In recent research from the University of Auckland and Yale, parents weren’t told to sing—but they did. When their babies became distressed, they sang. And it helped. Over time, those babies became more settled.
What’s beautiful about this finding is not just that singing works—but that parents already knew it. This is what Circle of Security Parenting calls parental wisdom: the deep, intuitive drive to comfort and connect. Parents are hardwired to give care.
But COSP also recognizes that for many parents, this wisdom can feel hard to access. You might want to offer comfort but not know how.
And that doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It doesn’t mean you’ve failed your child.
COSP isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about helping parents see what’s getting in the way of showing up the way they most want to. It’s about returning to that inner compass—the part of you that loves your child deeply and wants to connect.
From a COSP perspective, singing isn’t about pitch or performance. It’s one small way of Being With, tuning into your child in their distress, even if you don’t know how to fix it. Even if you feel awkward or unsure.
Your baby doesn’t need a lullaby in tune.
They need you.
So tonight, if your baby is unsettled, don’t worry about the words or the melody.
Your voice says:
“I see you.”
“You’re safe.”
“I’m here.”
And if it doesn’t come naturally? That’s okay too. COSP is here to help you find your way back to connection—with your baby, and with yourself.
