The Circle is Messy and That’s OK – Circle of Security International

The Circle is Messy and That’s OK

It’s not unusual for parents to say that the relationships with their children look and feel “messier” than the clips shared in the COSP program. This is particularly true for parents of children with developmental challenges or conditions such as Autism Spectrum Disorders.

A mother recently shared her experience of navigating the Circle with her daughter. “We were out to lunch at a restaurant with a fairly large group of family and friends, which is often a challenge for my daughter.” Amidst all of the noise and chatter, she became overwhelmed and upset. She left the table, walking away from the group.”

“In the past, I would have given her space, thinking she needed to be on her own. While this is sometimes true, I now also know that she needs me in these moments. I could see she was overwhelmed and upset and I called her back, inviting her to sit with me”.

“She came straight back, turning around and sitting right on my lap at the table. She faced away from me, but I wrapped my arms around her and just gently rocked, without saying anything. She stayed sitting there quietly for quite some time and never looked entirely settled, but she was able to join us for the meal and became more relaxed. “

“It’s sometimes not as easy to recognize the coming and going out as it is in the COSP videos but in that moment, I could see she needed me on the Bottom (Organize my feelings) and I was able to offer her enough to feel settled.”

I invite you to share with me your comments, reflections, Circle stories and experiences with Circle of Security Parenting. Your submissions may be used in future blog posts, with all identifying information excluded, unless you specifically request to be identified. Contact me at brooke[at]circleofsecurityinternational[dot]com