Seeing Beneath The Surface: Cultural Humility in Circle of Security Parenting Facilitation

Circle of Security Parenting (COSP) centers the child within relationships, but every facilitator brings their own cultural values, beliefs, and social position into the room and every family brings theirs. This workshop invites facilitators to slow down and examine what lies beneath the surface of that encounter using  both, The Iceberg Model of Culture developed by anthropologist Edward T. Hall and the reflection framework of Martin Baro's Liberation psychology and Paulo Freire's pedagogical stance.  Our assumptions, histories, and social structures shape how attachment is understood, expressed, and received across different families and communities.

Through three facilitation moments drawn from real COSP practice, participants will explore situations when culture, identity, gender, and historical or social experiences become present in the group. These may include moments when differences in gender identity or gendered expectations between facilitators and participants become salient, conversations about parenting and childrearing across diverse family structures, including LGBTQ+ and homoparental families, and moments when lived experiences of race and racism enter the discussion. Using the familiar COSP stance of Relationship–Affect–Reflection and “Ask, Don’t Tell,” participants will explore how to stay experience-near, “peel the layers,” and remain curious about what may lie beneath the surface without assuming its meaning. The focus will be on learning to lean in when culture, identity, or history emerges while coming back to the relational core of COSP: Where is the child or other person on the Circle, and what is the specific need?

Participants will leave with a deeper understanding of how culture informs COSP facilitation and explore practical tools, like Relationship-Affect-Reflection and Ask, Don’t Tell for holding the model with enough flexibility to meet families where their histories actually are.