Parental warmth expressed during childhood has lasting benefits.
A study of over 2,200 identical twins found that when mothers showed more warmth and affection towards their children between the ages of 5 and 10, their children grew into young adults who were more open, conscientious, and agreeable—traits strongly linked to lifelong success and well-being. Openness helps children stay curious and creative. Conscientiousness supports focus and follow-through. Agreeableness captures flexibility, empathy and cooperation in relationships.
The study found that even modest increases in maternal affection had measurable impacts on personality development. That’s hopeful. It means small changes can make a big difference long term.
In Circle of Security Parenting, we capture this quality of caregiving relationships on our Circle of Security graphic in the need “Delight in Me.” Delight is so important that it is featured on both the Top of the Circle and the Bottom of the Circle because, as this study highlights, it is really the foundation of secure attachment. It’s also at the core of building self-esteem.
Warmth and affection—expressed through delight—tells a child: “You matter. I enjoy being with you, just as you are, however you are.” When a child feels this deeply, they develop a sense of their worth, which supports emotional regulation, curiosity, and connection with others. Sometimes it can be confusing to delight in a child when they are coming to you tired, hungry, cold, whining. In these moments, a child still needs to know that you are delighted to see them, that you don’t see them as a burden, and that you find delight that of all the people in the world, in their moment of need, they turned to you.
Even small, everyday moments of delight—smiling when your child walks into the room, laughing at their jokes, showing joy in their presence—can help shape who they become.
While this research focused on maternal care, these findings are consistent with research findings on fathers and other important early caregivers. Read the original research paper here: Parenting in Childhood Predicts Personality in Early Adulthood: A Longitudinal Twin-Differences Study
