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A Circle Story from Svendborg, Denmark

We attended the COSP training in Copenhagen, including participants from Iceland, Portugal, Sweden, and Denmark in August 2019. We were a group from Svendborg consisting of five health nurses and five social educators. Deidre Quinlan and Neil Boris were our safe Hands in the training process, and we had a thrill together during the four-day program in Copenhagen.

We had only just started the first COSP training groups in Svendborg when the coronavirus brought the world to a standstill. But since then, we have been busy, and new COSP Facilitators have joined the group to respond to the growing waiting lists. Evaluations from participants have been overwhelmingly positive right from the beginning.

The groups are usually a diverse group of parents with different backgrounds, and time has shown that we cover all kinds of parenting issues in the COSP groups.

The Circle of Security Danish Translation

The COSP program is well structured, and new knowledge is built from chapter to chapter. Still, there is room for everyone to consider how they can strengthen their ability to stay on the Circle with their child at different times and levels.

As COSP Facilitators, we are thrilled to see how the groups use the material and our reflections to ask themselves where they struggle and how that makes it hard for them to stay on the Circle with their kids. My last COSP group with my co-facilitator Petra was, in many ways, an excellent example of this. One of the parents in the group put it like this.

Thank you. I have learned a lot about myself this past eight weeks. I know that I have to be Bigger, Stronger, Wiser, and Kind with my son. I know that my son is doing all he can to do his best, and I have to help him solve the problems at hand instead of seeing him as a problem. I am more aware of my Shark Music, and I know when to take Time Out for myself. I still struggle to balance firmness and affection, but I’m practicing the best I can.

All this attention on what I have to do and what I have not been doing have made me realize that there is a big difference between using ‘I’ and ‘you’ messages. I stay on my half of the court when I use ‘I’ instead of you. I recognize that I am fully responsible for the relationship quality with my son.”

I replied, “That was a wonderful reflection on the COSP program. Thank you for sharing your insight with me”.

On behalf of the team of facilitators from Svendborg, Denmark – Kasper.

Kasper Hvoldal Keinicke is a COSP Facilitator in Svendborg, Denmark