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Following the Path to Security

I am a COSP Facilitator, and I am compelled to reach out to Circle of Security International and thank you. I am amazed at the power, its creation, its influence around the globe, and how tender and wise your staff are. To be even this small part of the COS family is so very precious. Many sincere thanks. You supported me to fill my heart, and I believe that of this family in the story below, with clarity and hope yesterday.

We were discussing the Path to Security, including cueing and Shark Music as a comprehensive aspect (not each in isolation) that parents may struggle with…and I shared a moment of insight. In that moment, something happened. I am sure others have seen this powerful recognition many times. We experienced together a shared moment of pure grace. It was so heartwarming to have these two parents use the conceptual framework of the COS to realize how they might be triggered by their own child’s need. In that moment, I said very little and still offered empathic support and delight to have them share their discovery with me.

The Path to Secure Attachment Caregiver Handout from Chapter 5 of Circle of Security Parenting

For months there has been confusion for these parents as they tried to make sense of why the one parent recently started waking in the night, often with panic attacks, and not knowing why. They shared how they have been so confused and had been to several therapists and did not find answers there. This discussion of the Path to Security, they felt, was the answer they had been looking for and they were surprised to find it within their parenting journey…as they had not seen a connection prior. There were many tears and much comfort between both parents.

At closing when I asked the parents if they thought they could explain this chapter’s content to someone else, they both felt they would be able to do this and then one parent added that they were for sure going to because their sibling needed to understand more about what had just been realized.

Hearing each other’s stories helps us connect with caregivers all around the world; and it also offers opportunities to reflect more on the Circle of Security that is present in all our lives. Please consider sharing your own story for our blog page. Click here to submit your story.