I think it goes without saying that being a parent is amazing. Amazingly wonderful and amazingly difficult. Trying new things while feeling consumed by all that it takes to be a parent sometimes feels truly impossible. Taking the minutes to pause and reflect on what you want to do differently or can even feel like a luxury. When we were given the opportunity to take that time in exactly that way, through Circle of Security Parenting at the Boone Center, it changed everything for me. It was like I put on a pair of glasses and recognized why some things were a bigger struggle for me than others, what my kids’ behavior was actually saying. When I saw it, I couldn’t “unsee” it and my language and many of my actions and reactions were changed forever.
What I love about a circle being a part of the description of this program is that its round. The Circle of Security gave, and continues to give me repeated opportunities to meet needs, celebrate successes and independence, hold safe places for my kids AND mess up and keep hanging in there. We can always circle back around. There’s no expectation for perfection, just that we stay in there with our kids and try again when we need to.
Circle of Security changed my parenting and personal life, it was the “aha” moment that gave me space to see my kids less like miniature tyrants and more like the exploring, creative, adventurous and wonderful little people they are. I don’t know about other parents, but my patience expanded as my understanding expanded. The possibility of creating something better, kinder, more patient than what I had ever experienced gave me hope.
Probably the most amazing thing about being able to take this class is it continues to give back as they get older. It’s the same skills, same language, same lessons and opportunities now to create solid relationships between us, and foundations for them as some of my kids start to shift into adults. It’s the gift that has kept on giving.
I’m still so forever grateful for the space to learn new ways of being with my kids. Thank you for the chance to be a different parent – years later it’s still the best thing that ever happened in my parenting.
Mama to 6 (age 2-18 years), Spokane Washington
I invite you to share with me your comments, reflections, Circle stories and experiences with Circle of Security Parenting. Your submissions may be used in future blog posts, with all identifying information excluded, unless you specifically request to be identified. Contact me at brooke[at]circleofsecurityinternational[dot]com